How do I know when to call?
Posted by admin on Aug 22, 2008
One of the hardest parts in dealing with a breakup and getting your ex back is figuring out when you can call them. When and how much to call is a question that burns holes in the minds of broken-hearters everywhere.
1. You obviously still love them, and just want to tell them, right?
2. You just want another chance. Is that too much to ask?
2. You just want them to know what you really think. What’s wrong with that?
It is these three thoughts that not only don’t win your ex back, but end up killing any future chance you have with them!!
You are on a break or a break-up for a reason. That is, there are unresolved issues that need to be sorted out. You both need time to figure out why one of your isn’t completely happy. Things were great with you once, so don’t sabotage this much needed time apart by turning into a stalker, to get your ex back!
You guys loved each other for a reason, give some space and allow that reason to resurface in both of you.
Do this for yourself:
- start doing things and activities you used to love and do before you guys got together
- Take some quite time (hiking, yoga, meditation, etc) to ponder on your own identity, and what you really want in all aspects of your life. (DO NOT think about your ex during these times. This is personal time)
- Work to stop future projecting yourself with your ex. The only way to get them back will be to refrain from thinking about and depending on a future you don’t even have yet
THEN, you can start to work you way back in. Once you have gotten ahold of yourself, and given your ex some space, you can re-approach them from a healthier and more successful standpoint.
- Call to chat on the phone about random stuff for a few minutes, then hang up (politely)
- Invite her out with you and a bunch of mutual friends to a no-expectations hang out. Just be calm and comfortable being with them in a social environment as two single people. DO NOT BE WEIRD OR BITTER!!
- Invite them out for a drink after work. Hang for a bit, then call it a night
These are tactics that will work, because your ex wants to get back with you too! Just get back in touch with yourself first so your ex can complete you, and not define you. Then you can enter back into contact as a grounded, non-needy, happy person. And you’re set!
